When do we touch and when don’t we?
The essence of social dancing etiquette is to lead and follow. We use touch, body movements, and hand/arm signals to communicate. So it is expected that there will be some physical contact on the dance floor. However, once you leave the dance floor, physical contact should stop. Continuing physical contact is likely to make some people uncomfortable causing you to have fewer dances in the future.
Asking Someone To Dance
Asking someone to dance is not always a simple matter of saying, ‘would you like to dance?’ Let’s focus on the physical side of asking someone to dance making you a more suitable partner.
It’s not appropriate to grab someone’s hand quickly or aggressively as it makes people nervous and it can feel like you are invading their personal space. The acceptable and best practice is offering someone your own hand, giving them the space and opportunity to take your hand when they are comfortable.
When to Ask for Dance Using Social Dancing Etiquette
Dancers attending a social dance are there to dance but keep in mind they are also there to socialize and catch up with friends. If a dancer is deep in conversation, it is polite to wait before asking them to dance so be sure to do this. It is not appropriate to interrupt them mid-sentence to ask for a dance, and it is certainly not appropriate to grab their hand and drag them onto the floor.
Who Asks Who According to Social Dancing Etiquette Rules?
In days gone by it was common practice for Leads (used to be Gentlemen, now can be anyone) to invite Follows (used to be ladies, now can be anyone) to dance. This is no longer the case. If Followers sit and wait to be asked, they may be waiting a long time. These days Leads and Follows are equally expected to invite partners up for a dance. The more you ask, the more you will be asked so get out there and be brave!
Dance Position Do’s and Don’ts
Mind hand placement to avoid unintentionally offending or upsetting others; ensure sensitivity and awareness in your actions.
Leader’s right hand should be at the base of the follower’s shoulder blade. Leaders should be diligent in not letting the hand slide lower, to the follower’s waist and beyond. As this can be very uncomfortable for your partner.
Please avoid holding your partner too close as you don’t know what they are and aren’t comfortable with. When it comes to Ballroom styles, the ‘closed dance position’ is an option. Partners typically dance with their stomachs touching. Do not grab the follower and pull them towards you. The same rules apply to Bachata which can be danced open or closed.
Say Thank You
Always show appreciation to your dance partner and accompany them off the floor; it avoids the abrupt ‘dump and run’ feeling. So remember to smile, say thank you and walk them back to where you met.
