Social Dancing & Studio Events

Dance Etiquette: Declining

Dance Etiquette – Dance events are generally 4-5 hours long so it is expected that you will not dance to every song but there is a right and wrong way to decline a dance. If this is done incorrectly or rudely it can be very difficult for the dancer who made the offer to recover from it, particularly when they are new to social dancing. It is important to be careful of people’s feelings and the best way to do this is to generally accept most Danes.

Dance Etiquette – There are generally five socially acceptable reasons you might decline a dance, as follows:

1. You have an injury

Now, if you’re like me and love your dancing you may find that you are at a dance event even if you are injured and cannot dance! After all, you will often find you attend these events and do as much dancing as you do talking so why not?! If you are injured that is perfectly okay just say “Thank you for the offer but I can’t dance tonight because I’ve hurt myself. Can I take a rain cheque?”.

2. You need a rest

We all need to rest at times but you need to be genuine about this. For example, it is extremely bad dance etiquette (and plain rude) to say to one person that you need a rest and then dance with a different person to that same song. If you refuse one person because you need a rest you need to sit out the whole song. It is also nice to ask if you can have another dance later instead once your rest is over. For example: “Thanks for the offer, I’d love to but I am just having a bit of a rest, could I dance with you in 2 or 3 songs?”.

3. They are treating you badly

Generally, dancers in the social ballroom world are very friendly, respectful, and careful people. However, if you feel someone is dancing with you in a rough, uncomfortable, or inappropriate manner, you can choose not to dance with them again.

The first thing I would do in this situation is be pro active in dancing with other people. If you consistently dance with others, you remain in control and can avoid dancing with that person again.

If they ask you again and you don’t want to dance with them, simply say “No, thank you” with a smile. Avoid going into further detail to prevent any potential discomfort or awkwardness.

4. You don’t know the particular dance

If you’re unfamiliar with the dance, politely decline and suggest dancing a style you’re comfortable with instead. “I have never danced bachata before but could I dance with you the next time a rumba comes on?”

(If you are feeling adventurous you should try anyway! you never know, you might really love the new style.)

5. You have already promised to dance with someone else

This happens occasionally. You have already promised the next cha cha to a particular person, but you have not partnered with them yet. Because of this, you are asked by someone else to dance.

Explain the situation to them and promise another dance with them later.

“I would love to but I promised this dance to John. Could I dance with you next?”

As long as you are polite, respectful and encouraging everything will be fine. Remember that it is important to get out there and ask for dances as well as accept and decline. The dancers that dance the most, improve the quickest and have the most fun so get out there!

Also Checkout – Etiquettes in Dancing